Vietnamese wedding

I went to my cousin's wedding today, it was a happy day for the couple but at the same time exhausting for everybody including themselves, parents and guests.
Vietnamese weddings are complicated and they get bigger and bigger over the years. Mom said her wedding was simple, they only served tea and sweets, and there was another small celebration with food for family members. I remember seeing pictures of her wedding, she dressed in a traditional ao dai, there were two rolls of tables in a court yard... It looked like a happy stress-free day.
That was 23 years ago. Nowadays, weddings are big and wasteful. Weddings are for parents instead of the groom and the bride, because the majority of guests are parents' friends. Everybody gets to eat, to seat in a big hall, there's a professional speaker and walking down the aisle and popping the champagne bottle. The number of guests can easily be 600 or more.
Let's do some math on my cousin's wedding: they actually have 2 weddings. Today was the first one with only the bride's side, which means the bride's parents' friends and family. There were 80 tables, 6 each, that made 480 people. Not all 80 tables were full, there were about 10 empty ones which means the food for those tables will not be eaten. The groom's side will have more people, which means another 80 tables? that makes 160 tables and 960 guests. Holy crap!
The happy couple had to stand by the door greeting guests coming in. Then they walked down the aisle together (technically entered the room and walked to the stage together). Then the bride's father made a speech, sometimes all parents get to talk. Then they gave each other rings, then poured champagne, then cut the cake (that no one gets to drink or eat). After all that, the couple had to go to each table to thank people for coming, to be congratulated and toasted. When they're done making a round, they had to stand by the door as people were leaving.
As for the food, it's always the same for every weddings: green beans sticky rice, some soup, chicken, stir-fried vegetable, beer, soda, squid cake, shrimp, etc. The food wasn't any good, and there were a lot of left over, and once you're done eating off you go.
After the wedding, the bride goes home, exhausted that she can hardly take her dress off. The groom is being dragged somewhere else with his friends, always come back completely wasted. The wedding night is out of the question. Then 2 days later, it all happens again: another wedding for the same couple, this time it's even bigger, double the size of the first one. More money, more wasted food, and i'm sure the happy couple will never want to go through all that again.

I went home and told mom "if I ever get married, you're not inviting your friends to my wedding, if i can't have a small tiny wedding then I won't have one at all." Mom just laughed at me, she said it's a unavoidable tradition. I believe it will change eventually.

It's not the same without you

I realized that on my way to the visa office this morning, a weird feeling - somewhat lonely- fills up inside. I got out of the house at 9:15, didn't have any plan for the rest of the day. Not even breakfast with the girls, not even a cup of coffee. Everyone's busy working and i'm the only one on vacation. How sad!

I got my visa, but the interviewer caught me off guard when he asked "what's your mascot". All i can say was "Smoky!" I wasn't supposed to be nervous and I was. He declined a lot of people this morning, and i think he was being very reasonable. There were people who couldn't even speak english but wanted to go to college in the US. This one guy even had a list of questions he might be asked during the interview and an acceptant letter from West Texas A&M, and the interviewer asked him "What color is my shirt, what day is today, what month is it..." Of course he was rejected. One girl got really upset but she didn't speak any english and she picked the school because her relatives live in that city => she probably will end up at a nail shop instead of college.

I finished 2 designs for the cover of my portfolio yesterday. The 2nd one looks better, maybe the color is not quiet there yet. I tried to pick a different color but they didn't look right, didn't feel right. Red is just too girly, yellow is too bright, blue is depressing, purple is cheesy, green is the right shade and lime green is perfect.

Got my hair cut, not too short thou. I told the hairdresser to cut it whatever way he wanted, he was super excited and did a good job. The salon was super busy thou, you can't really walk around in there without getting into the way, hazard hazard.

Dear you: Hanoi is not the same without you but I can deal with it. Can't find anyone to go to Nhac Tranh with me thou, how lame. I miss our "people studying" afternoons over coffee and tea, people think i'm weird for doing that and no one would do it with me.

Traffic is terrible by the way, it's worse than last year, there's no easy way to go home without getting stuck in traffic, any time during the day. What caused all these madness? I feel like the population of Hanoi has multiplied by n+1 times. I see a lot of 17, 34, 19 license plates, and more cars. See that big red light at the theater, true they have left turn signal but at the same time, the other side get to go too so it's a bundle of people trying to get thru a knot in the middle of the intersection. Plus, people would start going when the timer hits 3 seconds or they just simply run the red light if there's no cops. And I really can't deal with driving a car here, driving a scooter is hard enough. Remember those day we strolled around slowly, just really relaxing? Yeah i can't do that anymore because i have to keep dodging people and cars. 1 day of driving can easily costs half a tank of gas because of all the traffic. What caused all these madness? Where did those people come from?

Went to see your mom the other day, I met your cousin for the first time too. She looked well. Why didn't i get to meet her before? Hanoi will never be the same. I want my 5000d bowl of pho but it costs like 20,000d now. Inflation sucks.

I have a new bed

Mom bought 2 new beds yesterday, one for me and one for her. My bed is really cute and there are matching side tables and make up table. I'm really excited about actually stay in my room but the installing people forget the foot of the bed and i still need to go get some new sheets. Anyway, when it's all done i'll upload some pictures.

So this is the brand new house we're living in. Really bad design and bad color, i asked for wood doors and the architect picked french doors but with wood replacing the glass, really really ugly shit. I have a big shower in my bathroom with the glass butting up in the middle of the window. The architect was 60 years old so the house really reflects her time and not the present, the tacky french style and tacky french paint color that you find typical in every freaking house built in the 80's and 90's. FYI, this is the vietnamese french style because no one bothers studying the real one. They just copy what they see in houses that the french built ages ago. Not to mention the rooms are built not according to furniture arrangement, so now mom has her entertainment center blocking the balcony door and no good place for a home office desk.

The only good thing about my house is that we have a lot of windows even in the bathrooms and hallways, so during the day there's no need to turn on the light. Bedrooms are huge and every room has a bathroom in it. But my room is on the 4th floor so it's like running up and down the architecture building. The living room and kitchen is a big mess right now because my grandparents have too much shit sitting around. They're getting their own house soon thou, it's being renovated right now they can put all the shit they want in there.

So far it's nice being home lol. That is because my grandma doesn't know my cellphone number. I made fun of mom the other day for being called by grandma if she's out too late at night. Mom said she would call at 9, then again at 10, then again at 11 to check on her. Mom doesn't call me anymore unless i'm out pass midnight i guess. And grandma doesn't have my number, or else she would call all day long to see if i'm coming home for lunch, dinner, if i'm on my way home, how close, when... blah blah blah.

My baby brother

I went to see my baby brother today. He's so tiny, like little tiny little. He's 1 month and 5 days old and he looks grumpy, angry little baby. Dad gave the baby to me and i was like "ehh!" Awkward!! I am so freaking afraid of holding a baby. One time i was trying to hold a puppy and i hurt him, and people were like "hold him like you're holding a baby". What? I dont know how to hold a baby. I can't even hold a puppy, don't give me that baby.
So i didn't hold him, that's a good thing. Dad said he rarely cries, he just eats and sleeps (and poops?). I'm just gonna sit and watch him and maybe hold his hand, that's it, no more. I bought him this little Tennessee baby bottle, show some school spirit here lol. Really hope he'll get to use it. My cousin is about to give birth to her 3th child, omg baby everywhere.

I'm reading The Fountainhead and really can not put the book down. I have this really weird feeling reading this book, a very different feeling as if I'm physically there watching everything. I read every word and understand everything, it's magical haha. No, but really it's very different, it makes me nodding along, marking stuff here and there, it's just awesome. I wonder if Dwight Schrute was an architect what would he be? The modernist? No, he would probably be the Renaissance one, or the Gothic. But really, Roark reminds me of Dwight, very rigid, very unfriendly, very architectural (if that even make sense). I can't decide if I like Roark at this point, i have to keep reading and see.

On my way home for Xmas

I'm home again for Xmas. The trip was 28 hours total and i was completely exhausted. I guess just being annoyed and unhappy for 14 hours really wore me out, i was falling asleep in Narita waiting for my next flight.
So the flight from Dallas to Narita was terrible. You know there are days when you just want to be alone, not talking to anybody, just want to read or do some thinking. Yeah, that's what i usually do on the plane, that precious 14 hours to think (usually about crap haha i am not a thinker), to read and watch movies, and sleep and not have to talk. But I sat next to this crazy korean woman and she wouldn't stop talking.

"Fountainhead? It's a good book. I don't have time to read. I go to Harvard."
"Do you play sudoku? What level do you play? Oh good i only play hard so you can have all my medium ones."
And there's a voice in my head saying "tell her to shut the fuck up"
"Oh oh Elf, you should watch Elf. Have you ever seen it it's really funny."
"Hey you should watch this movie it's very funny, it's The Women." Excuse me i'm in the middle of watching something else.
"You see that blue area over there, that's a lake" _ I guess i'm not smart enough to tell that it was a fucking lake.

She wouldn't stop interrupting me while i was watching movies just to tell me "this is very funny you should watch this next." Over and over. And over and over.

Narita was crowded as usual. I would normally go into those tiny store with only 2 feet between aisles, but i was in a pissy mood so... The flight from Narita home was nice, japan airline plane was super clean and the food was good, i slept like a baby and it was so hard to wake up (and the japanese guy sitting next to me doesn't talk).

Anyway, that's how my flights were and that picture of narita airport is from google.

Sep 15

Sáng nay Knoxville rùng mình trở lạnh. Chưa thấy lá vàng, chưa thấy nắng hanh, nhưng đã thấy phải khoác thêm áo ấm và hít căng lồng ngực vị gió nồng nồng ẩm ướt. Kính xe mờ vì hơi nước, mưa vẫn níu kéo trên bậu cửa sổ. Chắc là mùa thu đến thật rồi.
Thắp một ngọn nến, co ro dưới lớp quần áo được treo ngay ngắn, bật nhạc thật to. Nến lung linh mờ ảo, thứ ánh sáng léo lắt đấy khiến người đang vui mấy cũng chợt lặng người, thở dài và lục lọi nỗi buồn. Những nỗi buồn có tên mà không dám gọi, có với tới mà không dám chạm vào, sợ đánh mất nỗi buồn cho dằn vặt. Những nỗi sợ có thể gọi tên.
Ngày qua ngày, lặng lẽ trôi, khẽ khàng như ai đang dạo bước. Từng nhịp chậm rãi, đôi lúc lại dừng chân mệt mỏi, và lại chậm rãi đi. Nếu như con người cảm thấy cuộc sống của mình thật tẻ nhạt và lê thê, có lẽ phải nhìn lại chính mình. Bắt đầu cuộc khám phá về bản thân, đi tìm sở thích, tạo ra vô số những bận bịu để không còn thời gian thở dài.

Đi tìm niềm đam mê...

Tôi thiết kế một khu vườn yên tĩnh. Có cỏ cây, hoa lá, có dòng suối nhỏ chảy quanh và cả tiếng chim hót. Có ánh nắng, có ánh trăng, có lấp ló chú chim sâu nhỏ mải mê hót. Khu vườn của tôi được bao quanh bằng 4 tấm kính, bí bức, ngột ngạt, nóng nực và tất cả đều là giả tạo. Chiếc máy bơm nước được giấu dưới tảng đá bằng nhựa, những chiếc đèn mắt trâu làm ánh nắng mặt trời. Chú chim sâu không thể hót, và cỏ cây hoa lá sẽ chẳng bao giờ già. Có lẽ cái Zen của chính tôi cũng nhân tạo như vậy, nó không có thật, nó khiến con người ta cảm thấy yên bình khi nhìn vào, nhưng nó không có thật. Hãy ngồi đây, uống trà đạo, bàn bạc chuyện đời, bên cạnh 4 cây đèn được chọn lựa kĩ càng với cái giá có thể mua được hàng trăm ngọn đèn bình thường. Cuộc sống vật chất khiến cho khoảng yên bình trong tâm hồn cũng trở nên vật chất. Người ta có đủ tiền để mua một khoảng yên bình vật chất.

Cái đích của niềm đam mê của tôi là bán cho con người khoảng yên bình vật chất.

Và vẫn cứ đam mê cho đến khi không còn ai nghĩ rằng có tiền là mua được tất cả.

This is AWESOME: Sex and Calories

(Credit to my baby, he found this article/blog)

How much weight do we lose during sex?

Diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.

Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual.

EXAMPLES:

1 hr. intensive foreplay burns off: 1 slice (large) chocolate cake.

25 min. nonstop lovemaking burns off: 2 slices of pizza with cheese & mushrooms.

53 min. of kissing partner burns off: 1 cheeseburger with 14 french fries.

53 minutes kissing yourself burns off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.

PREPARING THE BEDROOM Includes setting the snooze alarm and dimming the lights: 42 (calories burned)

ADDITIONAL LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS Hiding the sex manual: 3; Decanting the wine: 4; Without a corkscrew: 268

MAKING THE FIRST MOVE If you are shy: 15; If you are anxious: 43; If you beg: 100

SEDUCING THE PARTNER If you are rich (cash): 5; If you are rich (credit card): 15; If you are poor: 200

INITIAL BODY CONTACT Fumbling: 4; Casually rummaging around: 7; Seriously rummaging around: 42

REMOVING CLOTHES With partner’s consent: 12; Without partner’s consent: 187; Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 418

AROUSAL AND STIMULATION Blowing in partner’s ear: 15; Blowing in your own ear: 2,512

DISAPPOINTMENT (after seeing partner undressed) Partner looks better with clothes on: 10; Partner wears corrective underwear: 15; Partner turns out to be of wrong sex: 100; You don’t mind: 0.25; Partner wearing elevated socks: 50

DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME Fumbling around: 4; Desperately trying to put something somewhere: 18; Completely missing: 126

POSITIONS Italian (man on top; woman on bottom): 26; German (facing each other, but in different beds): 48; English (woman on top; man hiding): 15; American (both on top): 1,243

AFFLICTIONS Leg cramp: 36; Making believe you don’t have a leg cramp: 612; Sneezing (during intercourse): 7; Sneezing (during orgasm): 588

ASSORTED ACCIDENTS Toupee slips off (if your partner knew you wore one): 5; Toupee slips off (if partner didn’t know): 72; Extinguishing cigarette (in ashtray): 1; Extinguishing cigarette (in mattress): 17; Extinguishing cigarette (in partner’s leg): 133; Calling your partner the wrong name: 50

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE Shoes flew off: 15; Expression didn’t change: 0.5; Room turned purple: 4; Face turned purple: 78; Earth moved: 30; If Earth actually moved: 1,234,588; Moaning in Turkish: 506

THINGS OFTEN SAID AFTER SEX “I am so grateful”: 15; “It must have been something we ate”: 15; “Was it good for you?”: 15; “Are you finished?”: 15

TRYING AGAIN If woman is ready: 5; If man is not: 563

ROLLING OVER AND GOING TO SLEEP After sex: 18; During sex: 546; While parking car: 212

SLEEP Real: 5; Faked (a good way to avoid sex-craved partner): 74

TAKING A BATH TOGETHER In a bath: 5; In a sink: 150; In a jacuzzi: 15,269

MAKING THE BED With partner still in it: 44 (indicates either a neatness obsession, a severe optic disorder, or a partner who is very tired). With you still in it: 97 (suggests extreme withdrawal and profound dissatisfaction)

KEEPING A JOURNAL Maintaining your own record of sexual activity will be helpful for keeping track of weight loss. You needn’t go into detail, just list the activity and the number of calories burned. A typical entry in a woman’s journal (for example) for a pleasant low-key sexual experience might read as follows:

December 1st: Sex with Harold:-

Explaining how: 12; Suggesting something different: 3; Calming terrified Harold: 40; Encouraging him to at least take off his socks: 8; Foreplay (a little of this; a little of that): 56; Intercourse (standing position): 22; Intercourse (holding Harold up): 10; Intercourse (urging him on): 5; Orgasm: not sure; Thanking Harold: 3; Waving bye-bye: 1; Total time: six minutes (taxi waiting); Total calories burned: 160

So, what are you waiting for…?

(Ever wondered why I’m eating so much? *lol*)

Source: http://lifecruiser.com/archive/sex-and-calories/

Things to do before you turn 30

Just for fun, let's see how much I have accomplished so far...

1. Go traveling: Check. But I really want to travel more and more, especially to Europe and the Mediterranean.
2. Get something published: I got a few articles published in a teen newspaper back in middle school. Not very proud of them but oh well, check!
3. Watch these film: It's a long list so i'm just gonna list movies that I've watched
The Star Wars Trilogy: I was forced to watch it, so.. ok check
Godfather parts I and II: My mom watched it all the time when I was little, does it count? I really hate to watch it.
American Pie: YES!!! Check!
The lord of the ring trilogy: Well... don't want to
Fight Club: Yes. Check.
Back to the future: check. Stupid movie
Jaws: Check
The breakfast club: Yes
The outsiders: Yes

4. Live in the capital: Born and grew up in Hanoi.
5. Learn a second language: I speak 2 languages. This should be: learn a third language.
6. Run a marathon: Hell no.
7. Drive the CA coast: Oh i really want to
8. Have sex: (in public?)
9. Go to a music festival: Well.... if Sundown in the City counts.
10. Try different food: I'm not afraid of trying new food.
11. Get on the property ladder: Technically there is a house under my name so technically i do own a house.
12. Test yourself: does roller coaster count? If not, then well i need to do something. But no skydiving. But roller coaster is something that makes me step out of my comfort zone, so it counts.
13. Visit Paris: Someday, I want to visit Venice first
14. Blow 500 pounds in 1 night: on gambling, see I just turned 21 and haven't been to vegas since, and i don't like gambling
15. Get a saving account, and use it: Maybe this summer when I make more money and can actually save up some
16. Do something for charity: I recycle. I donated clothes and money.
17. Get yourself on tv: I was in a movie for a good 2 scenes, so check haha.
18. Eat at a very fancy restaurant: Yish, done that, especially when I go eat with my dad hehe.
19. Quit your job: I will in 8 months when i graduate college, i will quit my pop corn popping and cleaning job
20. Go to a live sporting event: Football games, basketball, soccer games.
21. Have a weekend in New York: I've had so many fabulous weekends in New York.
22. Read these books: I won't even list them out but i've read: Harry Porter. That's it on the list haha. But i've read some famous books too so.. this can't be checked.
23. Own a convertible: I own a very old ford taurus
24. Buy something really expensive: Laptop???? Car???
25. Buy wine worth more than 50 english pounds: maybe a glass of wine???
26. Sign up on facebook: Haha
27. Record your family history: I know some
28. Sing karaoke: Love it love it, I go karaoke a lot when I'm at home
29. Have a complete health check: every freaking year
30. Climb a mountain: If mountains in vietnam counts as mountain. Check

So far I have 18 out of 30 things that I've done. I have 9 years to go yay!!!! I'm so bored

I have a dream

Sunday afternoon, I'm sitting here doing a little research about firms for my summer internship. There are thousands of firms across the country, small and big, local and national, and even international firms. They are all different, each has their own philosophy that sparks my interests. They have offices overseas, Shanghai, Tokyo, Dubai, London, you name it. Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to go somewhere else other than Seattle, Washington DC, to work and meet new people?
I won't be able to go home this summer because of the internship, which really sucks because I already made plans for Hanoi. Maybe this is just a silly dream, but I dream of being able to work for a Gensler, a Perkins and Will, a HKS in Hanoi, to be able to go home and still have a job that I worked hard for.
I was disappointed with my job last summer at home. Yes I didn't realized that until a few weeks ago when I started business class. I worked for a small but well-known firm, worked on high-end projects, charged people huge amount of money.... I should be happy. But no, I worked as a decorator, specifying wallpaper without any knowledge of it whatsoever. I spent hours looking at a floor plan with tons of odd arrangement and yet I was not allowed to fix anything. Why? There is a quote I read somewhere a few days ago that I don't remember exactly what it said. But the idea is that architects sometimes call themselves interior designers, that is unacceptable because they never had the education, they are only interior decorators. I dream of a day when architects realize that they better focus on their job and not try to do other people's job. Stop being so arrogant.
My point is that I was so disappointed with my internship at home, that i'm afraid I will never be able to find a real Interior design job at home. I will always be the interior decorator who struggles with not being able to move any walls or drop a ceiling. I will always be the one who people call to "please repaint my room, please redecorate my living room". That is not my job.
Working in the states is the only way I can do what I really went to school for. My dream is to convince my firm to open an office in Hanoi, for me to be at home, for them to open their opportunity to the world. Is it so hard? If Hanoi was like Dubai, with millions of opportunities, fast growing and constructions everywhere, then is won't be so hard. But for now, my dream is to work for Gensler, the number 1 architecture and design firm in the US.

Hanoi Xmas 07

It was short, it was low key, but it was wonderful.